Those Days Are Gone, You And I Were Young Those Summer Nights.

The above is a quote from one of my most beloved Magnetic Fields songs. The past few weeks, ever since discovering a very unkempt 2005 burned copy of  'Get Lost' within the depths of my car, I have been swept off of my feet all over again. The timing of such was a bit of a coincidence; lately, I've been so very nostalgic for the summers of 2005 and 2006, that it's actually troublesome to breathe when I start driving on Rt. 30, towards Shippensburg. It's remarkable how many artists and songs remind me of those wondrous days.

I like to believe that was the era in which my music taste was born. I was opened up to musicians that would unknowingly mold areas of my life, and without said music, I don't think I would distinctly remember the enchanting wind I felt on the days I spent with my most cherished of friends. Without it, two entire towns would be without a soundtrack. The "Haunted" Victorian house behind my sister's? It wouldn't leave me sitting in awe, romanticizing stories of forgotten ghosts within the attic, without the presence of Iron and Wine's "Bird Stealing Bread", or Elliott Smith's "Memory Lane" and "Son of Sam." The tree that stands proudly in the Shippensburg cemetery? I don't think the birds perched on each of the limbs would have sung quite as beautifully on those hot summer days, which were basked in with sunburned shoulders, without The Magnetic Fields' "My Only Friend." All of the countless late night conversations that I wished could go on for all of eternity? Well, they wouldn't stand so prominent in my mind without Ween's "What Deaner Was Talking About", Voltaire's "#1 Fan", and countless Magnetic Fields songs. All of those sun-kissed drives I took on 30, barefoot with the windows down, wouldn't have been so memorable without ELO's "Mr. Blue Sky", Wheat's "Closer To Mercury" and "These Are Things." The late-night excursions in the forgotten cemetery near my house wouldn't have been nearly as ghostly without being accompanied by Daniel Johnston's "The Story Of An Artist".





A few days ago, I took a trip to our local library after a usual thrifting/antiquing excursion. It's a magnificent building- one that I always thought to be haunted as a young child. It's not nearly as scary as it used to be, however. Perhaps now that I have ventured into actual frightening abandoned buildings, my idea of creepy has changed a bit. I discovered wonderful books on crocheting, as well as women of the silent screen (Sadly, nothing of or on Corinne Griffith. She's been so difficult to track down, being that out of her many, many films, less than ten remain viewable). I also rented a few of Buster Keaton's films. All of the years I have known of this library's existence, I was unaware that they had classic films. Imagine the happiness that overwhelmed me when I saw him peeking out from behind Charlie Chaplin.


Now for some photos of my antique/thrift finds!





I've been on a huge vintage slip/nightgown kick for a very long time now. Not only are they comfortable and lovely to sleep in, they are a wonderful way to add length to a skirt or dress. The more vintage ones are especially beautiful, because they have the most lace detail at the bottoms. There is only a small fraction pictured here- I just can't seem to stop myself from buying them, due to me convincing myself that one lace detail is completely different from the last.





This dress is one that I have been searching for, for ages! "Vintage tulle dress" has been one of my most prominent  eBay searches as of late. This one is perfection, aside from the fact that I really had my heart set on a seafoam color. I will always make an exception for cream, however. I thought to be having one of the worst thrifting experiences one afternoon, until I saw this beauty out of the corner of my eye, hanging desolate in the corner. And it looks all the more lovely with a crinoline slip underneath.






The inside of the box, on the lid, has some wonderful starburst silk material- another thing I've been eyeing up are vintage starbursts. Next to the box, is an antique lace fan. I've been too embarrassed to actually break it out and use it yet, but I think it's lovely, and I hope to shamelessly fan myself during the summer.



This was my great-grandfather from Italy's pocket watch. It's well over 100 years old, and it was just passed down to me by my father. It was caught in a flood years ago, so is no longer in working order. It has become my most cherished item that I have in my possession.



This is antique body powder, found at an antique store- with all of the powder still inside! It comes equipped with a large blue puff, as seen behind the transparent case.



A couple of polaroid cameras. The one on the right is from my sister, for Christmas. The other was a gift from Erin's best friend, Jesse, from California. I haven't tried Erin's yet, but Jesse's works beautifully!



A few old movies that I found on a rack at an antique store. "Funny Face" is my absolute favorite Audrey Hepburn film, and who doesn't love Fred Astaire? He's featured in both "Funny Face" and "You Were Never Lovelier" Also, a movie not shown that I recently acquired is Amelie. Two copies worth, actually! One, I purchased on eBay, and the other I received as a Christmas gift a few days later. Now I have one to borrow out, and one to keep and watch while the other is having adventures away from home! It's my favorite movie in the whole entire world.



An old scrapbook, found at an antique store. It was so very kindly already started for me, as well. There are a few photos of the ocean, and a beach shack.



My creepy little rabbit mask. I don't know why I wanted to own him so much, but as soon as I laid eyes on him, I imagined a photoshoot in the woods, with the inspiration of Alice In Wonderland (Which, after reading "The Looking Glass Wars", I'm tempted to type "Princess Alyss Heart" instead).



A tiny little tea set. This needed some cleaning up, but the end product was lovely. They're much too small to actually drink out of, but I saw them around the same time I saw the mask, and wanted to include them in the photos as well. It's a shame I forgot to bring them on the day we ventured into the forest =(.



I love this picture. The frame is wonderful, and her hair and bow are just lovely. It's a very small picture, but was only 25 cents, so I couldn't pass it up.



A large green box that I found acceptable to carry some photos of my family and my crocheting/sewing materials in. Also, inside the box is a Jeweligami kit. Yes, that's right, a kit to make paper origami jewelery.







This is a suitcase that houses a vintage hairdryer. The hat is in the lid, and the tube connects to the shower cap-like hat. I look absolutely ridiculous with it on, but it still works wonderfully.




I saw these at my local Goodwill for $1.50. I literally ran to them and wanted to purchase them and leave as soon as I saw them. They remind me of ballet slippers, and I can't wait to pair them with the cream tulle dress that's pictured above.

This Night, We Pray Our Lives Will Show.

It may seem as if writing has become less of a priority for me lately. In my head, subjects to share with the few who stumble upon this humble xanga have been brewing in my head. Each thought has been a different color. Each color dancing with the next, creating shades that weren't visible to begin with. My palette is full. I'm ready to paint words again.

Quite a few things have changed. Three amazing individuals came into my life. Dale, Michael, and Chris were the people who spiced up my mundane days. Their handicaps may have fooled outsiders, but I could see their intelligence, and I hope that one day, I will be able return the smiles that they put on my face. I regret to say, however, as quickly as they appeared, I left. I packed my bags, and started a life three hours away from everything that habit has made me love. My tiny apartment is quaintly set on the main street of a small town, above a music store. I'm happy with it, however, there are many things I long for.

My city. The refuge from my loneliness. A home that welcomes me without question or judgement. There have been times I have laid on my bed, looking out of the window, at the second story, white brick wall of the house next to me. When I focus on this house, I can get the mindset that I'm in my apartment in the city. Lovers walk hand-in-hand toward the Benedum theater, and coffeehouse workers ride in the subway, toward their humble apartments, after a long, grueling, day. A day filled with the all too familiar irritable people in need of their daily coffee fix. You secretly hope after they have consumed it, that they might be able to muster an awake smile toward you. Like coffee gets them by, their simple smile is the only thing you need to get through your day.

My imagination gets interrupted by the occasional horse-and-buggy that pitter-patters by. An interruption that isn't necessarily a bad thing, for it's charming in it's own way, as it sneaks up in the middle of my absolute urban concentration. It's almost as if it's screaming "Wake up! Stop pretending to be somewhere you're not, and enjoy your time spent here. You could regret it.."

It's been almost four months since I've moved, and I've just started to be happy with my decision. I won't try to sugarcoat it, though. There are still homesick periods (Such as one that is happening as I write this..), the occasional day where I don't feel welcomed by anyone around me, and the moments I miss the adrenaline rush of turning that corner and facing a welcome sign of lights and buildings.




I've been thinking of that night lately. A night that happened on a complete whim, with people I didn't know at all. While we walked through the dark woods, with a destination of paranormal activity, making every attempt to stay away from the guards that were nearby, It might sound completely random, but I've never felt closer to God than I did that night. No matter all of the frightening stories that are attached to Livermore, I was at total peace. It's difficult to explain, but it felt almost as if someone was hugging me the entire time I was walking across a long bridge, over an underwater town. After not experiencing much of anything ghost-wise, three of us parted from the rest. With the windows down, the spedometer reached new heights, as we drove away to a location that was foreign to me. I tried memorizing our path, but the backroads began bleeding together, causing me to lose all direction.

We stopped on a dirt road, beside a lake. The silence of this place was beautifully deafening. I felt like I was drowing in tranquility, as we laid on top of the hood of a beat-up car. Looking up to the heavens, covered in a velvet blanket of strung-out stars, I felt alive again. 

And I've found when I feel like it's me against the world, I can simply tell myself: "Remember, Bethany? Remember that night, when you felt you were infinite? That moment won't end there. If you keep going, there's more.."

That night was more than a coincidence.




- B e t h

::Edit:: Despite having to work the midnight shift tonight at work, the 4th of July sought me out, and provided me with a magnificent fireworks display. Just like a movie, right outside of the livingroom window, I was a child again, watching them in awe, as if it was the first time being able to truely see.

Let's go back to exactly one year ago. On July 3rd, 2006, I experienced a monumental flood of feelings that swept over my entire being. It was beautiful and confident. I felt, and savored each warm gust of wind that blew across my face that night. I became obsorbed in each word that came out of James Mercer's mouth, as fireworks exploded in the distance. Fireflies danced around our car. The crickets accompanied The Shins. And I melted into the night sky.


For one night, I was beautiful, because ugly- in any way, shape, or form- was nowhere to be found.


I Remember..

"You Are The Best Thing That Has Happened To Me. And The World Will Never Take, The World Will Never Take You Away.."

 

I want to purchase a hot air balloon, set it up in the park, and give everyone free rides.
I want to make people smile.
I want to contribute to others' future laugh lines.

I like life.
-B e t h